


Everybody's Starry Eyed

by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 'Bad weather' in space means whatever I say it means dammit, Conspiracy Theory Science, Discussion of Alternate Universes, M/M, MattShiro Week, People pick the least interesting theories I swear, Specifically college AUs, Tagging for future appearances at this point, Why disbelieve the moon landing when you can believe Phobos is an alien spaceship?, abuse of science, body drawing, space, suggestive talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-17 06:31:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8133806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticReactions/pseuds/BossToaster
Summary: A series of loosely related one shots for MattShiro WeekDay 1: departings/reunionDay 2: nightmares/day dreamingDay 3: free day (Cat Nip)Day 4: Good weather/bad weatherDay 5: Sun/MoonDay 6: Scars/bruisesDay 7: One sided pinning





	1. Next Thing We're Touching

**Author's Note:**

> MattShiro Week!
> 
> -throws confetti-

Shiro needed a shower.

In fact, he felt like he needed a hundred showers.

The past two weeks had felt like some of the longest in Shiro’s life. And considering that counted the lead-up to the Kerberos mission, the painfully long flight there, and then a year in captivity, that was a pretty significant statement.

They’d been stalking a high-ranking Galra commander who had crashed landed on the planet, unable to pick up him with the castle or the lion’s scanners, and instead resorting to just good old fashioned footwork. On a planet that was muggy, dense with surprisingly slimey foliage, and the only sources of water had been a vaguely reddish color that Shiro hadn’t trusted anywhere near open skin. While their supplies had lasted them handedly, if not comfortingly, they were... well, they were pretty gross.

And when they’d finally found the fucker, he had the audacity to try and kill himself rather than talk. Pidge’s bayard had taken care of that, wrapping him before he could manage, but the thought of him managing... That they’d gone all those days and gotten nothing for it...

Well, Shiro may have been a little extra rough dragging him to the clearing for pick-up, was all.

Now, the commander was tied and gagged, waiting transport to a locked down room to await some questioning. As far as Shiro was concerned, though, that was a job for Coran and Allura. He was going to go lie down. Shower and lie down.

“Katie Bear!” Matt called, just as soon as the debriefing was over, and Allura and Coran were working on picking up a Galra commander who was doing his level best to wriggle and make it difficult. He swooped in and wrapped Pidge in a hug, grinning at her like a wild thing. When she groaned, he pulled up, managing to hold her a couple inches of the ground before setting her back down.

Letting out a disgusted noise, Pidge pushed at his face and ignored his laughter. “Stop, I’m gross. Quit it.”

Bottom lip out, Matt stared down at her mournfully. “Oh, I see how it is. First time we reunite, you run into my arms yelling my name. Now I don’t even get a proper hug.”

“It’s been two weeks and you were fine. You knew we were fine.” Pidge shoved at him again. “Go annoy Shiro.”

It had never been so amusing to be thrown under the bus. Shiro smiled as Matt finally released Katie and wandered over to him. “You might want to wait until I’ve washed up.”

“Nope. Missed you too much.” Matt went up on his toes, cupping Shiro’s face and pressing a (thankfully chaste) kiss to his lips. Behind him, Lance and Hunk both cooed, one sounding sarcastic and the other honest. “That was too long. I feel like we should do the properly dramatic reunion. Run into each other’s arms across the castle, I dip you romantically and go in for a passionate kiss.”

Shiro snorted and grinned despite himself. “You think you’re going to dip me? Matt, do you know how to dip someone?”

“Yeah, you just kinda,” he mimed pushing on Shiro’s chest, then wrapped an arm around his waist. “And you fall back.”

Staring at him, Shiro closed his eyes. “Please never try to dip anyone.”

Matt whined playfully, and Shiro stared over the top of his head. “Go wash up and relax. I’ll talk with Allura and make sure there’s no training tomorrow.”

That earned him a round of cheers, even a quiet, breathless one from Keith. Which was proof enough it was the right call, as if the ache in Shiro’s bones wasn’t enough to tell him that. They piled out quickly, eager to relax.

Once they were gone, Shiro pressed a hand to the small of Matt’s back and took a hand in his, then gently pushed up and forward. Matt laughed and leaned back into it, so trusting that Shiro couldn’t help but smile. Once he was nearly horizontal, Shiro smiled down at him. “And you don’t lean forward, you stay upright. Leaning forward is a good way to make you both fall.”

“Make an exception,” Matt replied, and Shiro grinned and did so, leaning down for another quick peck. When he pulled back, Matt was smiling, but his nose was crinkled. “Okay, maybe you do need a shower.”

Shiro watched him, expression bland. “I could drop you now, you know.”

“But you wuv me,” Matt replied, not even pretending to be worried.

Pulling him back upright, Shiro smiled. “I do.” 

Which was, he realized, maybe the first time he’d said that out loud.

Matt stared at him, wide-eyed and mouth opened, uncharacteristically silent for several long seconds. Clearing his throat, Shiro started for the door, deciding that ignoring the fuck out of it was the better part of valor, today. “I’ll get washed up and meet you in your room after, how’s that? Dunno if I’ll do anything but crash, but I missed you too, so-”

He was cut off as Matt slammed into his back. At first, Shiro froze, instinctively tensing at the sudden presence of someone in so vulnerable a spot. But he relaxed quickly as Matt spoke. “Dammit, give a guy a minute to react, okay? I love you too, Takashi.”

Feeling like the inside of his chest was melting, Shiro smiled and rested his hands over Matt’s. “You know, it’d be a lot easier to kiss you right now if you were in front of me.”

Laughing, Matt released him and switched to his front. He cupped the back of Shiro’s head, fingers carding through the short, buzzed hair, and pulled him down for a kiss. “So demanding, sugar puss.”

“No,” Shiro replied, pulling back. “I am not making out with you when you’re calling me that.”

“Honey lumps? Gummy bear? Sweetie pie?”

Shiro frowned at him. “Are you hungry or something? I’m detecting a theme here.” The look turned into a scowl. “Have you been eating while we were gone?”

Rolling his eyes, Matt tugged again. “Shut up and kiss me, already.”

So Shiro did.

“And a shower, please.”

“Now look who’s demanding.”


	2. Paper Planes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares/ **Daydreams**

“Hey, Shiro?”

Shiro hummed in response, but didn’t look up from his pad. They wouldn’t be arriving at their current objective for at least a week, even assuming something else didn’t go haywire in the meantime, but he wanted to get a good handle on the terrain and situation for training over the next couple of days. The more he could prepare them the better, after all, and there was a rocky terrain that made him think some practice with rock climbing wouldn’t be a bad idea...

Settling down next to him, Matt leaned on his shoulder and peered in, curious what he was up to. After a moment he seemed to get bored, and instead he turned so his spine was resting along the length of Shiro’s arm, apparently unbothered by the movements as he continued to scroll. “You ever think about the possibilities of string theory?”

“Depends on what you mean,” Shiro replied, still not looking up. “That’s a pretty broad subject.”

Matt leaned his head back, so it was resting on Shiro’s shoulder. “For, like, us. Maybe there was a universe where we finished the mission. I mean, there definitely is, given the realm of infinite universes. Or a verse where we never went to the Garrison at all. A verse where we were born on a space colony somewhere.”

“A verse where you were born in the 21st century where you think you’re from, judging by your media choices” Shiro replied easily. “What about it?”

Sighing, Matt shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I’m just in the mood to take interesting, world-changing theories and apply them to something small and personal. So maybe there’s a verse where we’re just a couple of grad students trying to deal with classes. That’d be nice, considering.”

Finally putting down his pad, Shiro stared down at him. “Seriously, is something wrong?”

“Nah,” Matt replied. “It’s just... simple. Small.” His hands came up, palms close but not quite touching. “Easy. Not so complicated. And it’s a theoretically exercise. Work with me, here.”

Shiro would rather work with him in their universe, but Matt didn’t seem actually bothered. Just... wistful, maybe. Almost nostalgic. “Would we be TAs?” He finally asked.

Smiling at him, Matt crinkled his nose. “You would be. And you’d have your little gaggle of bright-eyed, over-eager undergrads following you around, just like now. I’d be my Dad’s research assistant, since he’s obviously a professor here.”

“He’d have the best astrophysics classes in the whole school,” Shiro agreed. Considering the idea, he nodded. “I could see that. Pidge would still go by Pidge. I don’t care why, but it’s weird to think of everyone calling her ‘Katie’.”

Matt shrugged. “It’s weird that the universe we live in knows her as Pidge, but whatever, I don’t judge. But sure, yeah. And maybe we were roommates.”

Snorting, Shiro shook his head. “Well, we weren’t together then. I’m not stupid enough to date my roommate.”

“Like I would have dated your scuffy undergrad ass,” Matt replied. “I totally would have thought you were stuck up, then. All nervous and formal and no fun at all until you finally thawed. And I’ve seen how you dress when you’re relaxed.”

Shiro frowned. “What’s wrong with how I dress?”

“Nothing for relaxing, but you look like a surprisingly fashionable hobo,” Matt replied, flapping a hand. “So, fine, we graduate and both go in as grad students for the same degree, and by that point you’ve relaxed and I’ve come to appreciate your hipster ways and we start having amazing sex.”

Reaching across himself so he wouldn’t disturb Matt’s pillow, he ran a finger through his bangs. “And your hair would be short? Or would you have grown it out, if you weren’t at the Garrison?”

Matt considered. “Mighta grown it out. Never really cared, and it’s nice to throw it into a ponytail and not worry about it anymore. Kind of a pain to brush, but I’ve kept it this long and not bothered to cut it, so whatever.” Then he glanced up at Shiro. “And you wouldn’t have the scars.” His voice went quiet and soft as he reached up to rub a finger over it. “No more sinus problems.”

“That’d be a relief,” Shiro replied, casual as he could manage. “And who knows, I might have done something stupid and gotten it anyway. And I might have dyed my hair.” Probably not, and they both knew it, but Shiro just wanted to edge away from anything that might set off Matt’s guilt.

And judging by the look he got, Matt knew it. But he nodded and dropped the subject. “And I kick your ass with grades.”

Shiro snorted. “You don’t know that.”

“Oh, yes I do. I kick your sorry ass and graduate top of my class. But if it makes you feel better, you spent more time wrangling undergrads who get into all kinds of trouble and want you to pick you up from parties the night before a test, so it’s probably their fault.” Matt grinned smugly.

Pulling out of the way, Shiro let Matt fall to the floor with a thump, then leaned over him. “Or I seduce you into not studying for tests, and get my own back.”

Matt grinned up at him. “Oh, you bad boy. Very devious, I like it.” He waggled his brows. “And how would you do that?”

“I’d offer to actually stay in the handcuffs instead of slipping out,” Shiro replied, voice smug.

That made Matt go still. “Oh, you teasing bastard.”

“I try.” Shiro leaned in for a kiss. “It would work, then?”

Matt sighed. “Yeah, yeah. So, okay, we tie, how’s that? It works out.” Wrapping an arm around Shiro’s neck, he pulled him back down for more kisses. “Hell, it’s working on me already.”

Shiro smiled into the kiss. “I didn’t promise anything now. Just in your daydream.”

“Tease,” Matt repeated, nipping his bottom lip. The hand that wasn’t currently holding Shiro down slipped between them, tracing down Shiro’s stomach, felt even through the layers of his vest and shirt. “Maybe there’s a universe where you’re nice to my kinks and indulge me now.”

A groan escaped Shiro as his eyes fell closed. “Maybe that universe is this one.”

“Dreams do come true, hot damn.” Matt’s fingers found the top of Shiro’s pants. “Wanna go check? For science.”

Pulling up with enough strength that Matt was yanked along for the ride, Shiro nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go experiment.”

Matt smiled dreamily as he was pulled to his feet. “I love those words. Make sweet science to me, baby.”

“Okay, experiment over if you say that again.”

“That’s fair.”


	3. My Body Goes Woah-ah-oh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Free Day: Cat Nip

When he’d been called to the rec room after a suddenly stalled mission, Matt had assumed the worst. It had seemed like an odd location to tell him that Shiro or Katie had been injured or worse. But he couldn’t think of another explanation for why Keith, of all people, had paged him on the intercom and told him he was needed _right now_.

Well, Matt knew why. And someday he was going to get better at predicting the weirdness their lives had become.

Shiro stared up at him from his place on the couch, expression relaxed. Maybe more so than Matt had ever seen him, even counting pre-Kerberos. “Hi there,” he rumbled, lips curled up.

“Hi,” Matt returned, amused. “Yeah, I got this, go ahead and escape.” He flapped a hand at the rest of the paladins.

Lance laughed. “Escape? No way, this is hilarious. I want to _watch_.”

“Dude,” Hunk muttered, elbowing him. “Not cool.”

Pausing, Lance colored. “No, I mean...not like that watch.” He paused, in a way that Matt suspected he was thinking that, yes, he would like to watch in that way, too. “I mean, it’s like when he got drunk of that... you know what? Yeah, I want to escape now.”

“Good call,” Katie muttered, then saluted sarcastically to Matt. “And good luck, bro.”

Matt’s brows raised in amusement. Was seeing Shiro loopy that strange to them? “What even happened?”

“Coran thinks he’s allergic to something on the planet. He’s looking for an antihistamine for him. Or, something that’ll work like one.” Keith nodded to Shiro, arms crossed and expression closed off.

Shiro chuckled. Honestly, it was closer to a giggle, but that was such a weird thing to think of Shiro doing that Matt’s mind automatically slid away from it. “Weirdest allergy ever.” Then he smiled up at Matt again, pupils blown. “You’re pretty.”

“You know what? Thank you, hell yeah I am. Unlike you, I can take a compliment when it’s given.” He patted Shiro’s head, then glanced over at Keith again. “Okay, I don’t see why that needs me. I’m not a doctor. And he doesn’t seem to be in danger of puffing up and suffocating or something.”

Keith eyed them both, then shook his head. “You’ll see in a moment. But he’d rather you see this than us, I think. So I called you.”

“Betrayal,” Lance intoned. “You just don’t want Shiro talking about you again when he’s out of it.”

Staring back at him, eyes distant and wounded like a soldier, Keith shuddered. “No. No, I don’t.”

“Agreed,” muttered Katie.

Hunk glanced between them, amused. “Regardless, he’d prefer you dealt with this. That’s probably true. So we’ll all just go. Call us if you need help with anything.”

“Just not if you need a condom,” Katie muttered, ignoring Lance’s cackles and the way Keith frowned. Matt just snorted, amused and not remotely bothered. “Can we go now? Actually, I’m not waiting. Bye. Good luck.” With that she strode out, Keith following after, shoulders up nearly all the way to his ears.

Hunk held onto Lance’s shoulder and help steered him out, though Lance’s struggles seemed to be for the joke of it rather than anything. “I don’t think it’ll be long before Coran is back. Maybe an hour? Bye!”

“Bye,” Matt replied, waving blandly. Then he stared down at Shiro. “What the hell did you do last time?”

Shiro’s nose crinkled as he thought. “Dunno. Don’t remember. Something.” He waved his hands blandly. “Don’t care, either. C’mere? Want a hug.” He held his arms out invitingly.

This was weird, but Matt couldn’t help being charmed. Shiro was so much more relaxed than he used to be, early in the Kerberos mission. But he’d never go so far as to call him unguarded, except in a few, rare moments. So he leaned down and returned the embrace as best he could while Shiro was still flat on his back.

With a twist of his shoulders, Shiro unbalanced Matt and sent him tumbling on top of him, then nuzzled into his hair. “Mmm. Missed you. Got up too early for anything. I like waking up with you.”

“That’s adorable,” Matt replied. Slowly, he pulled back enough to meet Shiro’s eyes, taking in the flush on his face, the easy smile and the blown pupils. And the nuzzling. “Question.”

Leaning forward again, Shiro pressed his cheek to Matt’s, rubbing in slow, dazed circles. “Yeah?”

Okay, Matt was trying really, really hard not to laugh. But this was taxing his already low tolerance for hilarity. “Did you find catnip or something?”

“Nooo,” Shiro drawled, drawing out the word as if Matt was being slow. “I found Shiro nip. I’m not a cat.”

That did him in, and Matt burst into laughter. “Oh. Oh my god.” He pressed a kiss to Shiro’s mouth because it was too damn cute, then pulled back and pressed a hand to his cheek. “No wonder you didn’t want them around.”

“S’not why,” Shiro insisted, eyes closed happily. “Wanted you.”

Matt paused, brow furrowing. “Wait, ‘wanted’ how?” Hadn’t he read, somewhere, that catnip was an aphrodisiac? Or, he’d read something talking about the rumors and trying to debunk it. But now he wasn’t so sure.

Frowning, Shiro’s brows furrowed together. “Dunno. Just wanted.” He turned, lips finding Matt’s palm as he started to kiss. It wasn’t quite with tongue, but the way his lips parted certainly threatened it.

See, that could be a problem. Because Matt had absolutely no problem with getting handsy when Shiro was open and welcoming like this. It was a little different when he was acting that way because he was high as a kitten on a kite.

“What do you wanna do, then?” Matt asked, content to let Shiro keep nuzzling. “And for the record? This is weird. I never saw you as cat-like. More like a puppy.”

Shiro hummed agreeingly. “You’ve said. And I like dogs. They’re so happy. It’s nice. But it’s not catnip. It’s Shiro nip. I said that.”

Biting the inside of his cheek, Matt nodded. “Yeah, you did. Sorry, Bunny. Now, you never answered. What do you want to do?”

“Bunny?” Shiro’s nose crinkled, just like his new nickname. “I don’t like it.” Then he blinked slowly. “Wanna kiss you.”

That was acceptable. Matt may not have written permission for ‘you can make-out with me when I’m stoned’, but kissing was so casual he didn’t think Shiro would have a problem with it. “Well, then, better come up here and kiss me, then.”

Shiro stared up at him and let out a low whine. “Sitting is hard. Come down here.”

And because he was fundamentally a meaner person than Shiro, Matt just smirked. “C’mon, work for it.” While Shiro strained under both Matt’s weight and the lethargy of the Shiro nip, Matt eyed him speculatively. “Think you could still get out of handcuffs like this?”

“Yes,” Shiro replied, without a trace of doubt. “Did it in worse situations.”

Pausing, Matt frowned. “Like what?”

Shiro frowned right back. “How do you think I escaped?”

Oh. Well, that did make sense. Somehow he’d never put together ‘Shiro’s Houdini fanboy skill’ with ‘Shiro escaped captivity’. “Right. Wasn’t gunna do it anyway. Now c’mon, Muscles, I’m waiting.”

Shiro scowled, then wrapped an arm around Matt and yanked him back down. He made a smug noise as he kissed Matt’s jaw. “Ha.”

“You cheater,” Matt cried, as dramatically as he could manage while trying not to laugh. “How could you?”

Rather than answer, Shiro just sucked on the point where Matt’s jawline met his neck. And damn him, because he knew what a sensitive spot that was. Matt groaned and went limp over him, arching his neck in encouragement.

While it never got beyond kissing and some fingers starting to creep up shirts, it certainly didn’t get less heated.

Which made it all the worse when Allura and Coran burst in triumphantly and caught them that way.

“Oh,” Allura muttered, voice flat. “Apologies. However, I’m unsure if this can wait.”

Normally, Matt wasn’t one to be bothered by being walked in on, especially when they hadn’t knocked. But it was a little different when it was a space princess, for one, and Shiro didn’t react _at all_ or try and stop, which was weird enough to make Matt pull back. “Ah, thank you,” he managed, pretending very hard that he wasn’t panting and out of breath. “Um, how do you- one second.” Pushing at Shiro’s shoulder, he pushed him away so he’d stop licking his neck. “C’mon, focus.”

“Don’t want to,” Shiro protested, sulky sounding, but he did finally look over. Even high, Shiro froze at the audience. “Oh.”

Coran looked openly amused at the display. “We finished the serum. Should I be asking Samuel about safe sex practices on your planet?”

Going pale, Matt shook his head. “No. No you should not. Please don’t.”

Clearing her throat, Allura pushed something into Matt’s hands. It looked like a pill, almost, rounded and coated with something plastic-y. “This should do it. In the future, you can take this beforehand to prevent the effects. We’ve made more, and we’ll scan for the presence of similar plants in the future.” She swallowed hard, the colored triangles on her cheeks almost seeming to glow. Matt wondered idly if that was the Altean version of blushing, or if he was just projecting. Because he was definitely blushing.

“Right. Thanks. I’ll make sure he takes it.” Matt managed. Meanwhile, Shiro flopped bonelessly back down on his chest, face down. “Thanks for doing that.”

Coran beamed. “Not a problem, lads.” Mission completed, he put his hands behind the small of his back and smirked at them, one end of his mustache quirking up. “And don’t forgot that a tied _blaxnim_ is a happy _blaxnim_.”

“Coran,” Allura grumbled, shooting him a look. “They’re both adults. I’m sure the both of them don’t need to be reminded.” She gave them a last smile. “Have a good afternoon, and we’ll retry the mission tomorrow when you’re more yourself, Shiro. If the medication doesn’t work within an hour, let us know.” With that she walked from the room - not rushed, like Matt would have done, dammit all - and Coran followed after, making a twirling motion with his fingers.

Once they were gone, Matt stared after them, feeling shell-shocked. “I don’t want to know what Altean sex is like.”

Shiro snorted. “Yeah, you do.”

“It’s intellectual curiosity and nothing more.” Matt put the pill next to Shiro’s cheek. “Now, this is for you.”

Picking up his head, Shiro pouted. “I want a kiss first.”

Matt rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help a smile as he leaned down and kissed them. Then Shiro took the pill, before Matt could offer to get him a glass of water. Taking it dry didn’t seem to bother him, thought Matt made a mental note to remind Shiro how not-good that stomach it was. Later. When he’d appreciate it. “There. Now, how about we get you to your room while it wears off?”

“Kay,” Shiro replied, heaving himself up with effort. He was loose and limp, nearly a dead weight, but Matt managed to get him to stay on his feet anyway. “Thanks. Gunna appreciate this later. Right now it’s all good, though.” He yawned. “Wanna lie down now.”

“Room first,” Matt told him, and the pair of them trudged through the hallways.

And next time? Next time they’d have planned what was acceptable beforehand. For now, Matt was pretty sure some really excellent cuddling was in order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Shiro Whammy for a lil bit. But it was a silly idea and once it hit me, I couldn't resist.


	4. Burst Into Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Inaccurate science ahead

“Shiro, I’m in _love_ ,” Matt breathed, eyes huge and bright.

Shiro glanced at him, trying not to smile but unable to help it. “Should I be insulted?”

Sighing dreamily, Matt nodded. “Probably. I would marry this moment, Shiro. I would have a family of memories with it.”

Chuckling quietly, Shiro went back to staring out the windows of the observation bay. Beyond the glowing particle barrier, the violent, brilliant display of giant gas clouds colliding into fireworks was, indeed, worthy of falling in love with.

While calculating the best arrival point for a mission, Sam had discovered that they were within the neighborhood of a gas storm. Which had sent him and Matt into near seizures of glee, comparing it to readings from Sagittarius. And once Pidge had heard, she’d been just as thrilled, eyes as large as dinner plates.

It was the first time Shiro had ever been in a room with all three of them this excited, and he was both awed and terrified. Now, he thought the emotions were about identical to actually seeing the event in question.

Matt had literally begged the Princess on his knees to allow them to stop close enough to see. He’d checked, and the particle barrier was enough to keep them from any negative effects, and honestly the Castle survived wormhole travel. A few gas cloud collisions wouldn’t phase it. So, please? _Please_?

Both the Alteans had been openly confused about their enthusiasm. To them, such things were as mundane as thunderstorms on Earth, and why couldn’t the Holts just watch the footage they had on the ship? Why see it yourself, when the readings were likely to be no different?

But then Matt had looked like he wanted to cry, and Pidge had gotten in on the begging, with Sam backing them up. Then Lance had gotten interested, bringing in Hunk’s support, and Shiro had spoken up in favor. Finally, even Keith had been dragged into it.

At that point, Allura and Coran probably gave it up as a bad job and just agreed.

They were on the deck too - everyone was - but neither of them were particularly paying attention the the awe-inspiring cosmic event. But the rest of them were fascinated, and oddly quiet in response. Not silent, because not only were Matt and Shiro talking, but Pidge and Hunk were whispering near constantly to Sam, who seemed to mostly be answering questions for them. Lance and Keith were murmuring to each other as well, thankfully without any sort of argument for the moment.

It was peaceful, honestly. No matter what they learned from this or how amazing it looked, he was thankful they’d stopped just to have this calm moment.

“You know, we could probably take down the particle barrier,” Matt whispered, nearly to himself. “The castle takes worse than that, and we’re not that close. Not really.”

Shiro snorted “This is fine. The castle is old, it doesn’t deserve our experimentation.”

Huffing, Matt didn’t push the issue, which was the same as agreeing. Instead he reached over and rested his hand over Shiro’s, then leaned over so their arms were pressed together. “So, opinion poll. Which is cooler: Seeing Jupiter up close, or this?”

“Hmm.” Shiro considered, head tilted as he watched the huge cosmic event unfold. “This is cooler to look at. But I like Jupiter better. We aren’t slingshotting off of the gas storm’s gravity like we did back then.”

Matt laughed softly. “You’re such a pilot.” Then he sighed, eyes closed and lips pulled up. “This is worth it. This is worth everything.”

Expression softening, Shiro tilted his head and leaned in to kiss him. Matt smiled into it and squeezed Shiro’s hands.

It took him a moment to realize the burst of light behind his eyes wasn’t from the kiss, but from the gas storm.

“Dude,” Lance breathed, as Shiro pulled back to look. Something must have collapsed in the cloud, because as they watched, it was starting to shift in directions like a ripple, the center bright and hot looking.

Shiro’s eyes went wide as he realized they were watching the very first, fetal stages of the birth of a star.

The hand over his tightened almost to the point of pain and Matt leaned forward, eyes as bright as the spot that would become a star.

Nothing else changed. Nothing else would change visibly, not for thousands of years, as the gas formed together under the gravity of the new, denser point. But it would, without interference.

Shiro wondered how long it would take for Earth to see this, if they ever would at all. He wondered what they would name it.

And, he was being sappy, but he genuinely couldn’t think of any group he’d rather share this moment, with.

But after that moment, it felt anti-climatic to stick around too much longer, like hanging around after the finale of a fireworks show. And they did have a mission to prepare for. So, slowly, people started to get up. Pidge and Hunk were the first, off to find an answer to a question Sam couldn’t answer. Lance trotted after, practically dragging Keith along. Then Shiro stood and offered Matt his hand. “Ready?”

Matt cast one more look over, then nodded. “Yeah, I’m good. I should check on the readings we got. I’ll be interested to see. Since we were... my god, how lucky was that?”

“Well,” Shiro drawled, lips quirking up. It wasn’t often he got to give the smart answer to Matt, rather than the other way around. “Considering there’s an infinite universe and an infinite number of stars in that universe...”

Snorting, Matt elbowed him, then went back to holding Shiro’s hand. “But a finite amount of us. C’mon, it’s going to be _fascinating_ , and I want to see what the others are making out of it.”

As they made their way out, Shiro spotted Sam wandering over to Coran and Allura. “Did you enjoy the show?”

Coran chuckled. “Yes, actually. I’ve never seen anyone so excited over a gas storm. But you all do remind us to appreciate things we’ve become accustomed to.”

And after that, Shiro couldn’t hear words anymore, only the sound of Allura’s voice, likely agreeing.

Squeezing the hand in his, Shiro smiled at Matt, charmed by the sheer excitement on his face.

With some many universe-spanning, cosmic events around them, it was easy to forget about the mundane. Shiro never wanted to stop appreciating this.

But when he could see the cosmos reflected in Matt’s wide, eager eyes, it was hard to find that mundane to begin with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't recommend you use this fic as a basis for any astronomy tests coming up. What's referred to as a 'gas storm' here is actually just two gas clouds colliding, creating something not unlike the Pillars of Creation. Some science was hurt in the making of this moment, but it's for the #Aesthetic.
> 
> I figured it was a more fun version of 'bad weather', at least, so hey.
> 
> This begins our minor internal theme of 'SPAAAACE', which will continue for the next several fills.


	5. Take Me In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where do you think Pidge got it from?
> 
> Sam?
> 
> Hell no.

A hissing sound by Shiro’s ear made him stir. It repeated, louder this time, sounding like an air leak. Groaning, he sat up and cracked his eyes open, looking around for whatever was broken.

But rather than finding some cracked pipe, Shiro found Matt kneeling next to his bed, grinning widely and eyes bright in the gloom. “Wha-?” Why was Matt there? He usually had no problems climbing into Shiro’s bed and crashing after an all night research binge like last night. Waking Shiro up in the process was a new step.

“I finished my calculations,” Matt announced proudly.

Shiro stared back. “Cool. Congrats. G’night.” And with that he flopped back down face first.

Immediately, Matt started to shake his shoulder. “You didn’t ask what I found!”

“I don’t fucking care. What time is it?” Shiro turned his head just enough to glare at Matt with one eye.

Matt tapped the control pad. “6 AM equivalency.”

Shoving himself back up, Shiro stared at him, eyes wide. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, you overslept. For you, I mean. I expected you up an hour ago.” When Shiro opened his mouth, Matt continued. “But you left your alarm in my room yesterday.”

Oh. Damn. That’d do it. Or, at least, on a rare day he actually slept till his alarm. “Okay, what’s so important, then?”

Matt climbed onto the bed next to him and shoved a pad at Shiro’s stomach until he turned over and put it in his lap. “Okay, I was doing some scans on the moon because I noticed it’s really light? Like, weirdly light. It’s not a solid mass.”

Brow furrowing, Shiro frowned, sleepily jumping ahead in the conversation. “You think it’s a disguised ship?”

“What? I mean, I guess maybe, but I don’t mean it’s the Galra or anything. If it’s aliens, I don’t think it’s them. The Galra haven’t touched our own solar system, so...”

Shiro blinked slowly, catching up to Matt’s brain. Then he groaned and shoved the pad back. “Is this fucking _Shklovsky_ again? That stupid theory has been debunked for centuries.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been to Mars,” Matt replied, nose in the air. “Phobos is definitely hollow. That’s true. So who knows what’s inside?”

“Nothing,” Shiro hissed back, scrubbing his face. “That’s the point of being hollow. There’s nothing inside.”

“Or something less dense than rock!” Matt shoved his shoulder. “Look, this moon is, like, identically structured. Same size, similarly affected by a similarly sized planet. One little peek? You can get there in the black lion in like, ten, fifteen minutes. We’ll be back before breakfast.”

Slowly, Shiro turned to stare at him. “Didn’t you get enough of moon samples last time we did this?”

Matt huffed. “We didn’t finish last time.”

Goddammit. Goddamn him. “You want me to fly you to a moon before breakfast so you can test your crackpot theory about goddamn Phobos.”

Nodding, Matt leaned against him. “Please? It won’t take long, and we’ll just go see and take a look. That’s all. Pretty please?” He tilted his head up, bottom lip out in a pout and eyes huge.

God fucking dammit. “ _Fine_. Only because when I do this and it’s just a goddamn rubble pile smashed together, you have to shut up about Shklovsky. I don’t ever want to hear his name again after this. Ever.”

“Promise,” Matt replied sunnily, hopping up and offering Shiro his hand. “C’mon, armor on, all that. Time’s a-wastin.”

Grumbling, Shiro pulled himself up and started to pull on the undersuit. “And we might not even get out of here. For all I know the black lion will point out what a terrible idea this is and will lock up on me.”

“Please, this is cool. The black lion will understand. Or whatever they do. Semi-sapient lions know what’s cool, right? Huh..” Shiro rolled his eyes as Matt pondered the question. “Besides, where’s your idea of adventure?”

Shiro eyed him. “On Earth.”

Snorting, Matt eyed Shiro’s armor. “Sure. Makes sense.”

Okay, Shiro really hoped the black lion gave him an excuse to say no, just out of spite.

***

The black lion did not say no. But it wasn’t because it was ‘cool’.

Shiro got vague impressions of approval, and happy contentment. The lion was pleased he was taking the time to do something private and fun with his lover. Because one-on-one time was _important_ in relationships, didn’t he know that?

And also apparently Matt improved Shiro’s mood. Didn’t feel like it at the moment.

“Doesn’t look locked to me,” Matt chirped happily.

Damn him. Sighing, Shiro pressed on the display, opening the hangar doors. Hopefully they wouldn’t wake anyone with it. He didn’t want to have to explain this. “Let’s get this over with. Hang on.” Once Matt was gripping at the back of Shiro’s chair, he shot forward.

Thank god for inertia dampeners, or else Matt would have been a pancake on the back wall. Then again, so would Shiro.

He didn’t often get to fly at his own top speed, usually matching the group. So it was exhilarating to have an excuse to really work with the black lion, pushing against the atmosphere and into space.

Matt had predicted they’d get there in 10 minutes. Shiro got there in about 6.

Clinging tightly to Shiro’s shoulders, Matt groaned. “Holy shit, dude.”

“You okay?” He tilted his head back to look at him, unable to fight off his grin, especially not with the black lion purring in his head.

Matt let out a slow breath. “Yeah, just lost a few years off my life. No big deal. Lemme... woah.” He finally looked at the camera display, beaming. “Can I touch the controls? Would they work?” Without waiting, Matt leaned over his shoulder and started to activate scans. Shiro’s brows jumped, because he’d thought it wouldn’t work.

The black lion pushed a feeling toward him. His own trust of Matt, sure and steady. It worked because Shiro was there, and Shiro knew in his bones Matt was doing exactly what he said he was. He believed in him the same way he did his own hands.

Well, okay, maybe more than his hands. Considering.

His understanding settled, the black lion back to feeling pleased and a bit smug. Shiro ignored that to work as well, moving to change the camera angle.

Then Shiro paused.

“Um, Matt?” He got a hummed, distracted affirmation next to his ear. “ _Matt_.”

“What?” Matt looked up, frowning at him.

Rather than answer right away, Shiro pointed to a flashing spot on the moon. “That’s reflected light, right?”

“Uh,” Matt leaned forward, squinting at it. “Maybe? It’s pretty steady, though. And- woah, no, it’s getting faster.” Indeed, the blinking flashes were speeding up.

Then it stopped. And the moon below them split open, and something that looked very much like a canon raised out.

Gripping the controls, Shiro cursed loudly and shot forward, twisting the black lion to avoid taking the first volley of hits. “Shit!”

“I told you!” Matt crowed, proving once again how completely he could _miss the goddamn point_. “I told you. Victory for Shklovsky!”

Banking hard enough that Matt tilted into Shiro’s shoulders, he turned and activated his own weapons. “Less bragging, more letting me concentrate.”

Matt just grinned, holding on for dear life as Shiro fired on the canon, blowing it off the moon, then started to scratch along the surface, looking for a weak point.

Finally, one point gave, and Shiro used the jaw blade to pry it open, then scratched inside like a cat scratching for a toy.

The whole thing shuddered then went still, and Shiro pulled back with a handful of wires attached to the lion’s paw. “Hm. That wasn’t as bad as I thought.”

Matt nodded. “Yeah, I think that one little gun was it’s entire defense. Certainly no Death Star. We just got unlucky. Or, you got unlucky. I was lucky, because I was _right_.”

Sighing, Shiro started to head back. “I should have gone back to sleep.”

Giving a soft, smug noise of protest, Matt kissed his jaw. “You know, that didn’t take as long as I thought it would. I could show you my appreciation, if you land on the moon for a little while.”

Shiro stared at him, one brow raised, but he couldn’t and didn’t bother to hide his interest. “In the lion?”

“As it if it minds,” Matt replied easily, already starting to settle in Shiro’s lap. He pulled off Shiro’s helmet and grinned at him. “Because, not only was I right, but you look damn fine being all determined pilot. So it’s happening now or on the way out.”

A quick mental check proved that the black lion most emphatically did not mind. While the concept of sex didn’t really seem to register or matter to a giant metal lion robot, the concept of ‘my pilot is very happy’ did.

It was sweet, in a weird space kind of way.

And, dammit, Matt wore smug well. Which was a good thing, because he wore it a lot too.

Sighing, Shiro gave in and pulled Matt in for a kiss.

***

“An old Furling probe!” Coran raved later, over breakfast. “Well spotted, they’re hard to detect. Those things used to be all over the universe. They damn near wiped themselves out centuries before we were in stasis, so most of them had gone defunct. I’m surprised you found one in working condition. Bad luck, that, but an astounding discovering nonetheless. Back in the day-” And Coran was off, telling about his days in the military, and the time they spent the night hiding out on a Furling probe. And luckily, Sam was paying attention, eager to hear about it and respond with a camping trip gone wrong he’d had decades ago involving a radio, a satellite dish and a fire extinguisher.

Which saved Shiro from having to pay attention to Coran. But didn’t save him from Matt’s smug look.

“Shklovsky,” Matt stated flatly, smiling widely. Apparently just for the smug joy of being able to say it.

Closing his eyes, Shiro bent over his meal and did his best to ignore him.

Keith made an interested noise. “As in, Phobos? What about- oh!” He gasped. “You think - you might be _right_.”

“I’m always right,” Matt replied, still dripping with smugness, as Pidge dropped her fork in excitement.

“Shklovsky?” Lance asked, and when Shiro looked up, his brow was furrowed. “Who’s Shklovsky?”

Keith shot him a look of astonishment, as if Lance had said he didn’t know who Allura was. “You don’t- let me go get a notepad, I’ll show you.” And he tore off, determination in his stride.

Groaning, Shiro scrubbed over his face. “Hunk, I need to discuss poisoning lunch with you again.”

“No way, this is the most entertainment I’ve had in days,” Hunk responded, grinning.

And as Keith came back, clutching a notepad and a pen, and already going off about governmental conspiracies, backed by Matt and Pidge, Shiro wished again that he’d just gone back to sleep. Making out on a moon had not been worth this.

Ah, who was he kidding. Yeah, it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by my friend and the biggest NASA nerd I know, who in all earnestness tried to convince me that Phobos is being-made.
> 
> May he never know I used that information for a shippy Voltron fic. Then again, I don't know what he expected. 
> 
> If you're interested on the ~~ridiculous~~ hollow Phobos theory, check it out [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phobos_\(moon\)#Shklovsky.27s_.22Hollow_Phobos.22_hypothesis). TL;DR, it's probably natural from photos and is only about a third empty, so it just has, like, a pocket of emptiness. So I cannot promise it's a Furling probe irl. Sorry.


	6. Next Thing, We're Touching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe"

Cheek pressed against the bedspread, Shiro let his eyes roam.

Somehow, Matt had scrounged up a pair of shorts. From where, Shiro had no idea, but he suspected maybe Matt’s frequent explorations of the ship had resulted in a few interesting finds. He wore more outfits than anyone else on the ship, probably. Maybe it was a reaction to having worn prisoner’s garp for so long. Matt had never liked being stifled, from being ignored and shot down to being told he wasn’t allowed to do something. Shiro could see how that could turn into a desire to express himself in a new way.

Or maybe he just wasn’t used to seeing Matt out of uniform. Maybe he used to wear weird stuff all the time. Shiro’s experience there was more limited than he’d like to admit.

Regardless, it had one significant impact. And that was that Shiro was seeing a whole lot of leg. The shorts barely went a few inches down his thighs, and from there it was all skin until his slipper clad feet. When Matt had learned Shiro wasn’t wearing his lion’s slippers, he’d immediately stolen them and scolded him for the ‘waste’. Now he delighted in wearing them whenever possible, though Shiro would steal them back if he needed to make a quick run to the kitchen or something. 

The ridiculous things should have ruined the effect. They didn’t.

So Shiro was drinking in his fill. And nothing about those legs was unfamiliar, at this point. But there was something he’d meant to ask, but had never wanted to bring up in the moments he usually saw all of Matt’s legs. “Why don’t you have a scar?”

Matt picked his head up, then tilted it. Reaching down, he pulled up the bottom of his shirt, showing one of the lines that crossed his body.

Okay, that had been bad wording. Shiro shook his head and gestured toward his leg. “No, I mean... from when I hit you. Why don’t you have a scar? It wasn’t a shallow wound.”

“Oh.” Matt raised his leg and tilted his head, like he was trying to see where the scar wasn’t. “They healed me after. I guess someone bleeding out from a leg wasn’t super good for working, huh?”

Frowning, Shiro stared at him, still not picking his head up from the bed. “If they healed you right up, why weren’t you sent out after? If you know.”

Matt laughed, though it wasn’t a happy sound. “Oh, I know exactly why. Apparently if I was too much of a whimp to keep from getting crippled in one hit before I even entered the battlefield, it wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t entertaining enough.”

Stomach dropping, Shiro glanced way. “Oh.” He wasn’t sure what other response he’d been expecting. Probably ‘I don’t know’, because literally any reason was going to be upsetting.

“Yeah, well, they weren’t wrong. I mean, I could have maybe outran someone in a race, but in an arena with a huge hulking thing? Not my scene.” Matt shrugged elaborately. “Please don’t do the moping thing about it. We’ve done that song and dance plenty, and I’m too relaxed right now.”

Shiro sighed and nodded. “I’m not.” At least, not out loud. “Just wondering. I’ve noticed before, but it never felt like a good time to bring it up.”

Finally flipping over, Matt sprawled out as well, so he was facing Shiro. “Well, if you want to know about any of them, you can ask. Of all the things that went down, the stuff that physically scarred me were the least of it. It’s mostly cutting myself on the mines or burning myself on equipment. Nothing sexy.”

Frowning, Shiro eyed him. “If you call any of my scars sexy, I have a lot of questions about your tastes.”

Matt eyed him, then reached out, running a thumb along the scar crossing Shiro’s face. “They don’t look bad,” he offered quietly. “I find you sexy, scars and all. And this one would be the sexiest, except sometimes you rasp, and you never did on the way to Kerberos. And you breathe through your mouth more, now.” His thumb was gentle, back and forth. It would have been soothing if it wasn’t for the subject matter. “You look amazing to me. Scars and arm and all. Not because of, not in spite of. It’s all just you, and I love you.”

Closing his eyes, Shiro sighed, but his lips quirked up. “That wasn’t what I was going for.”

“I know. I wanted to say it anyway.” Matt leaned in for a kiss. When he pulled back, he gave Shiro a searching look. “Hold on a second.”

One brow raised, Shiro nodded. “Alright.”

Matt scurried off the bed and over to his desk, rummaging for a moment. He snagged a pen and raised it over his head with a triumphant noise - a true victory, given how messy his desk was - then came back. “Sit up.”

The bossy tone made Shiro smile fondly, and he obligingly pushed himself up. Scooting forward, Matt threw one leg over Shiro’s lap so he could get in closer. It felt oddly like Matt was trying to apply makeup to him, which, well, Shiro hoped not. Not with a _pen_. That couldn’t turn out well. “Should I ask what you’re up to?”

“Shush,” Matt replied distractedly. “I’m concentrating.”

Shiro sighed but quieted for a moment, even when he felt Matt start to draw on his face. It was little dots, spaced out over his cheeks like an extremely light dusting of freckles. “If you draw a connect-the-dots dick on my face, I’m taking back my slippers.”

That only earned him a scoff. “The slippers like me better. And have some faith.” Matt paused thoughtfully. “That would have been a good idea, though.” Then he went back to whatever his plan was, now drawing slow, straight lines.

Brows still up, Shiro waited for Matt to finish up. It only took a minute, and then Matt climbed back off and grinned at him. “Perfect. Come see.”

Shiro was dragged to his feet and half-shoved into the bathroom, Matt grinning eagerly the whole time. Giving him one last look, Shiro finally looked into the mirror. It took him a moment to recognize what looked like a random bunch of lines.

But then he froze.

It was Scorpius. He hadn’t recognized it at first, since it was reflected for him, but Matt had drawn a constellation over his scar.

“Cool idea, right?” Matt asked, leaning against his shoulder and grinning at their reflections. “Hard to get it accurate when I haven’t seen it in over a year and you’re talking, but I think it’s right.”

Resisting the urge to reach up and touch, because he didn’t care risk smearing the ink, Shiro nodded. “Yeah. It’s right. Very good idea.”

Emotion swelled in his chest, sudden and threatening to escape, and at first Shiro didn’t understand why.

But it was because the stars were something they both loved. The thing they’d worked and reached for. And even galaxies and galaxies away, the constellations of home weren’t something the Galra could take from them.

Okay, or Matt just thought it looked cool. It was hard to tell. But that’s what it meant to _Shiro_.

And from the way Matt was watching his expressions change in the mirror, he knew exactly what he was doing.

Rather than comment, thank god, Matt held up the pen and waggled it. “Wanna keep going?”

“Yes.” But when Matt went to draw more, Shiro took it. “Your turn?”

Matt glanced at him and frowned, but he must have seen something in Shiro’s expression. Something about the vulnerability and emotions of the moment that made him want to pause a moment before taking off his shirt. So instead he nodded. “Yeah, sure. Back to the bed?”

Once they were settled again, Matt shirtless and on his back while Shiro leaned over him, he got to work. “What’s this one?” He asked, as he carefully dotted out the stars that made up Draco.

Pausing, Matt looked down. “Uh... hm. Oh, that one was from falling. I got shoved, and I lost my balance and landed badly on a machine. Haven’t thought about that in a while, huh. That was pretty early.”

They did that for each one. Hercules for the burn on his arm, Cassiopeia for the slice over his side, Phoenix for the series of small cuts by his waistband, Perseus for the ropy knot of rough tissue on his back. And as he finished each, he ran his fingers over them, careful not to disrupt the ink, and gave them a gentle kiss.

“That’s all the big ones, I think,” Matt finally decided, voice rough as he sat back up. “You ready?”

Swallowing the twist in his stomach, Shiro nodded. He was, so he pulled off his shirt and took a deep breath.

It wasn’t anything Matt hadn’t seen a dozen times before, and he didn’t blink as he started to draw. But baring himself without the haze of arousal to soften the blow turned out to be a little harder than usual. Shiro wondered if Matt had the same problem, and he just hid it better. After all, his scars weren’t from anything fun either.

Then again, he could remember all his. Shiro couldn’t say the same.

Matt worked methodically, tongue poking out and squinting as he drew. And it took a while, because Shiro’s chest was a mess. It was hard to tell, sometimes, if the scar was one large one, or several smaller ones on top of each other.

Aquarius, Pisces, Aquila, Hydra, Sculptor, Capis Major, Orion...

By the time they finished his front, Matt’s brow was furrowed as he tried to keep track of which ones they’d used and which ones they hadn’t.

“Do you want to stop?” Shiro asked. “This is plenty. Honestly, I’m probably going to stain the sheets when I lie down at this rate.”

Matt glared up at him. “Hell no. I have 88 modern constellations to use, and we’re not done yet. Turn around.”

Fighting off a smile, Shiro did so.

This side took a little less, thankfully. He’d been facing most of his opponents. Even so, Matt was murmuring quietly, listing off the constellations from memory as he tried to find new ones.

Finally, the pen clicked closed. Matt’s lips brushed against the back of Shiro’s neck. “You are made of star stuff, Takashi.”

The quote made him melt, and he turned around to kiss Matt. “Hmm. For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love,” he returned.

Matt smiled, cheeks faintly red. “Sap.”

“You started it.”

Still smiling, Matt laughed. “Who knew Carl Sagan was the way to your heart?”

“It’s not,” Shiro replied, and then kissed him before Matt could comment.

Because it wasn’t Carl Sagan or stars or any of that, not really. It was Matt that had a direct line to his heart.

But hell if he was going to tell him that. Matt had enough ammo already.


	7. And I Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every pairing needs some Amnesia Fic.
> 
> Shout-out to Glitter-Lisp for the idea. You're the real MVP.
> 
> Presented un-looked at, fyi. I barely finished this in time.

Matt watched the pod with open trepidation.

Shiro wasn’t injured. Not really. At least, not in a way that the pod was designed to deal with. Instead, they were using it to keep him in a comfortable sleep while they tried the procedure.

While he hadn’t been thrilled with an experimental method of extracting Shiro’s memories and making them available to his mind, he’d understood Shiro’s need to know. Part of it was coached in ‘what did I learn that we can use?’, and that was the argument Shiro threw around most. But Matt knew it was also just that Shiro was bad at not knowing things. Even if he didn’t want to know the answer, he’d dig for it.

So no matter how many times Matt told him the memories were likely to be only painful, that his brain had forgotten for a reason, that this was going to end badly, Shiro hadn’t been convinced. So Coran and Allura had modified the memory downloading technology aboard the ship to try and extract and replay them for him.

And at first, he hadn’t given much thought to Lance’s intoned ‘ _I have a bad feeling about this_.’ Because so did Matt, because it was a stupid idea, and it was just a reference joke.

But now _Matt_ had a bad feeling. An actual bad feeling, because Shiro’s brainwaves were... calm. And yes, he was asleep, but if he was dreaming his memories back - ones they knew were painful and violent and terrifying - shouldn’t something be happening?

“Coran,” Matt murmured. “C’mere for a second.”

“Hm?” Stepping over, Coran followed his gaze to the vitals. “Do you see something wrong?”

Matt’s lips tightened. “No. And that’s worrying me. Shouldn’t we be?”

Coran considered that, smoothing over his mustache. “Hmm. Perhaps. Or the sleep state could be keeping him calmer. It’s hard to predict how the human brain will react to this kind of technology.” Matt just grimaced, because it was true and that was what he was afraid of. “Oh, there’s some activity. Just took a little lo- oh, no. He’s waking up?”

Leaning forward, Matt stared. “He is? Why? He’s not supposed t- shit.” Pushing himself back, Matt opened the comms. “Pod rooms in 10, everyone.”

While Coran handled the immediate flood of questions that garbled through the speakers, Matt pulled up more and more screens, trying to check everything he could think of in Shiro’s vitals and the technology of both the memory scanner and the pod itself.

By the time everyone had arrived and the pod was warming up and preparing to open, Matt had no answers. 

Rather than push his way up to the front of the pack, which was a good way to get lost in a stampede, Matt took up position closer to the back. To his surprise, he was joined by Keith. He didn’t speak, just leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed, staring at the pod like he could melt it open with the intensity of his gaze.

“You don’t look happy,” Keith remarked, glancing over at him.

At first, Matt’s brows rose up, surprised. It wasn’t that Keith was capable of noticing, it was that it was unusual for him to remark on it. And even if it wasn’t, he was still not Matt’s biggest fan.

As far as Matt could tell, Keith was like Shiro’s clingy pet cat. Perfectly fine and independent most of the time, until someone suddenly came in and started paying attention to him, and suddenly Keith needed to be around Shiro all the time.

....In the nicest possible way, of course.

Realizing he’d been quiet, Matt nodded. “That would be because I’m not.”

Keith continued to stare. “Why?”

Oh. He wanted an update. “Something seemed a bit strange. Coran disagreed.” Glancing over, Matt frowned. “He’s probably right. He has more experience with it, after all.”

After a moment, Keith nodded back and went back to staring. “Okay.” He didn’t sound convinced.

Matt wasn’t either.

Finally, the doors opened, and Shiro blinked himself awake, holding onto the door to hold himself up. He was immediately beset by three worried paladins. ‘How are you feeling?’ overlapped with ‘Did it work?’, until Allura put an arm in front of them. “Give him a moment, if you would.”

But Shiro didn’t look amused by that, or upset at his memories, or even just overwhelmed. He looked... confused. Maybe a little scared, as he glanced around the room, brow crinkled.

“Are you okay?” Katie asked again, looking a little pale. Actually, maybe a hint of guilt in there, too. Why would his little sister be feeling guilty over this?

Something to investigate later.

Glancing down at her, Shiro frowned. “Um.”

He didn’t sound like he had any idea what was going on. And now, neither did Matt.

“Shiro,” Lance called, tone suddenly like he was calling someone across the room. His eyes were narrowed in thought.

Shiro didn’t react to his name at all.

And then it clicked. They’d be using a device that worked with Shiro’s memories. He seemed confused and unable to answer questions. He hadn’t reacted to the procedure emotionally at all.

Oh fuck.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro finally murmured, slow and halting, like he was picking each word carefully. “Where am I?”

Oh _fuck_.

***

The resulting chaos must have only made Shiro’s confusion worse, but Allura, Dad, Keith and Lance were tasked with giving him a basic rundown, while the rest of them got to work. And maybe Matt should have been there too, but Dad knew about the same stuff he did from pre-mission, so they’d be fine. He had a better focus at the moment, which was _fucking fixing this_.

“Should have done more testing,” Matt muttered to himself. “Knew we should have.”

Katie sighed and glared at him. “On what? Did anyone else have suppressed memories they were trying to access? Now would you shut up about should haves already? It’s not helping.”

Shutting his mouth, Matt shrugged one shoulder. Fine, he’d keep them to himself for now. But no one could stop him from thinking it, so there.

“Are you okay?” Hunk asked quietly, closing the panel to the pod. “I mean... we’ll fix this, is what I mean.”

Matt picked his head up and glanced at Katie and Hunk, frowning. “I’m as okay as you are,” he finally answered, tone bland.

They shared a glance, and he could just guess what they were thinking. That they weren’t dating Shiro - irrelevant, Matt wasn’t stupid enough to think their romantic relationship was deeper than the paladin one - and that they hadn’t helped build and monitor the device.

That one had some merit.

“I’m fine, seriously. We’ll fix this soon and it’ll go back to normal. Right, Coran?”

Pulling off his goggles, Coran spun his wrench-alike in his hands. “Well.” He drew out the word carefully, like he was stalling for time. “I’m not sure we can do much to ‘fix’ it. But I’m also fairly certain we didn’t delete any memories. Just... stored them away. I think the issue is it stored the memories like it’s supposed to do in the castle, so it just needs to be re-accessed. Relinked, I suppose.”

Matt crinkled his nose. It wasn’t fun to think of his boyfriend’s brain as a computer with a moved folder. But that was better than nothing. “So what do we do?”

“Wait,” Coran replied. “We can’t do this faster than his own mind can. Shouldn’t be too long.”

Frowning, Katie looked back down at her pad. “Is that... is that okay? I mean, I want Shiro better, but can we afford to wait that long to form Voltron? What if something happens?”

Hunk pulled off his headband to brush a hand through his hair. “I mean... does this stop him from flying the black lion? If it comes to that.” He crinkled his nose. “But he doesn’t know us enough for the bond. All that training...”

“It’s not gone,” Coran replied softly. “Just misplaced, like a misshelved library book.”

That was _super comforting_. No, really.

“Alright then,” Matt said, drawing him up and steeling himself. Leaning over, he tapped on Allura’s personal comm link on the control panel. “Hey, do me a favor? Don’t tell Shiro we’re dating.”

There was a moment of silence, both from the comm and in the room. Then Allura spoke. “One moment, apologies. I need to respond to this.” Another, shorter quiet moment. “It hadn’t come up yet. Why?”

Matt sighed and closed his eyes. “We can’t fix it now, but it’s probably temporary. And in the meantime, he doesn’t have any memories of what he wants or what’s reasonable in a relationship. I don’t want him to remember then it turns out we did something he’s not comfortable with. And it’s kind of weirdly grooming. So.”

This time, the silence was considering. “Alright,” Allura replied, voice suddenly very gentle. Frowning, Matt stared at the control panel, not sure what had caused the shift. “I’ll make sure to stop Lance or Keith if you mention it, and I’ll explain it to them.”

Oh, hey, sweet. Less explaining for Matt, then. That was cool. “Okay, thank you, Princess.”

“It’s no trouble,” Allura replied, still in that very careful way, before she cut back out.

Well, that was that, then. When he looked back up, everyone was staring at him. “What?”

Biting his bottom lip, Hunk’s eyes went wide. “It’s just- you really want to do that?”

“Yeah,” Matt replied, shrugging. He shot them all a strange look, then went back to working. The more they understood about what went wrong, the better estimate they’d have for when Shiro would be better.

There’s no response to that, thought it has to be several minutes before he hears the others go back to work. But Matt can’t stop and think about everyone’s thoughts all the time, especially when he has such an important project on his plate.

But when they finally pack up for the moment, since there really isn’t anything else they can do (estimates put it at ‘um, a week? No clue, really’), Matt nearly tripped when Katie slamed into his side and hugged him.

He hugged her back, because of course he did, but then he gave her an odd look. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just...” Katie sighed and squeezed tighter. “I just feel bad about it.”

Tightening his grip, Matt pressed his face into her hair. “Hey, don’t worry too much. He’ll be right as rain soon, and we’ll have him back same as ever. And, shit, maybe his stupid plan worked and he’ll remember everything in one go. Won’t make it worth it, but that’s the kind of luck he has. Shitty, but it works out.”

Katie let out a choked laugh, a little wet sounding, but when she pulled back she looked composed as ever. “If you need to talk, just let me know.”

The offer is so out of left field that Matt only nods, and she slips out the door. Hunk follows after, eyes looking a little watery. “Um, same. If you need it.” And he follows after, chin high in a way that made Matt think of nothing but when they all watched sappy movies one evening.

Okay, he’d officially lost the plot.

When Matt turned to ask Coran what was going on, he got a sudden hair ruffle. “You’re a good lad,” Coran told him, voice gruff. “Not that I didn’t think it before, of course, but... it’ll be over soon, don’t you worry.”

And once he was gone too, Matt sat back down in the chair by his control panel, staring at the empty, abandoned pod.

“What the hell?”

***

The rest of them are no better. Shiro was at least mostly settled, and Hunk had taken him aside to shove food in him. “You were in their for hours, dude! You’ve got to be starving. And you’re objective, now, so let me know what you think of this. Coran and I have been arguing about which is better.”

With Shiro out of the room, it’s suddenly open range to _emote_ at Matt.

Lance looked just as teary eyed as Hunk had earlier, and Keith was eyeing him in a way that made Matt feel like he’d suddenly rose several notches in his esteem. Which was weird and kind of a relief, actually.

“I think it’s a good call,” Dad said quietly, squeezing his shoulder like Matt was toughing it out. “And it’s only for a week.”

Matt nodded, other shoulder lifted in an easy shrug. “Yeah. And I don’t have to stop hanging out with him or anything, which is most of what we do, so it’s not that big a change. He’ll get my jokes even less now.”

Hands on her hips, Allura let out a low sigh. It sounded like one of Matt’s professors, when they’d have too much to do and not enough days to get it taught. “Well, it’s clear some things have remained without an issue. I doubt Shiro’s skills have been affected, and he has no problem with the weight and usage of his arm, so far. We’ll have to test how well he uses it as a weapon. I’m wary of putting him in the black lion at the moment, however.”

“Why?” Keith asked. “I mean, going into battle, yeah, but even sitting in it?”

Allura frowned. “It’s a delicate balance, between mind and lion. With his already so shaken and changed, we don’t want to risk damaging him. Or making the condition permanent.”

Oh, ouch. Matt hadn’t considered that. “Okay, so let’s not do that. Shiro said you can fly it?”

The frown deepened. “If need be. But it’s certainly not ideal. I can charge the ship for small, single jumps beforehand, but any significant need to move will need to be me at the helm, and that’s not always reasonable if I’m also flying.”

“Well, sounds like we need to hide out as much as possible,” Lance replied, shrugging. “Can we park ourselves in another gas giant or something? The Galra had trouble detecting us when we were literally sitting next to their flagship.”

Coran stroked his mustache and nodded. “It puts us on a delay, but our schedule isn’t strict, and we’re down a paladin regardless. I’ll find us a good candidate for staying hidden as long as possible. But that’s only a short term solution.”

“Should be all we need, though,” Pidge sighed. “If it takes longer than a week, who knows what our timeframe is. At that point we’ll have to risk it regardless, but I think we should wait it out at least a little.”

Allura nodded to Coran, and he gave a quick, half-joking salute in response, then headed off. “While he’s working on that, we should work on skills we’ve let go to the wayside. I’ll be joining you for those, if Matt and Sam don’t mind running the simulations.”

Shrugging, Matt nodded. “Sure, not a problem. Just let me know what you need.” 

“Since we’re already stalled, you have the afternoon to yourselves. I only ask that you use it wisely.” And because Allura knew exactly what everyone was going to do with that time, she gave them a small smile. “Try not to crowd him, but I think he could use the support and friendship.

Well, that they could do. “I’ll speak with you about the training now,” Dad offered, and Allura nodded. She wasn’t so easy to read as to openly relax, but something might have smoothed in the corner of her eyes. Maybe she felt better for having something productive to do. Matt could relate to that.

“In the meantime, I’m hungry. It’s been a long day and it’s not even halfway through. Coming with me, Cadets?” He gave them a sarcastic little salute, then paused. He felt like he was waiting for something. 

Oh. He expected Shiro to pipe up and make a crack about Matt being a Cadet too.

He wasn’t going to be doing that anymore. Not until they fixed it.

Matt’s stomach suddenly dropped, and his limbs suddenly felt cold and bloodless.

So this was why everyone had been giving him those looks. Because Matt’s boyfriend _didn’t remember him_. Didn’t remember all their injokes and history and challenges.

Matt had been so caught up in working, and was often so removed from his emotions that he hadn’t even recognized it until now.

Well, then.

***

This was going to be harder than Matt had thought.

The thing was, Matt wasn’t a coward. Maybe he’d had a bit of a moment before facing what he’d thought was a violent, vicious death in an alien arena, but he was human. So sue him.

But he was also one of the three people who had gotten in a spaceship to go to goddamn Kerberos on little more than some calculations and the backing of the Galaxy Garrison. And they didn’t send people who couldn’t take it into space.

So facing his boyfriend who didn’t remember him shouldn’t be a problem.

Except that it was, a little. 

“That’s amazing,” Shiro murmured, sounding awed. He was leaning over Matt’s shoulder to watch him work on the program Allura wanted for the next day into the training room. It was a few simple modifications, nothing crazy, but the concept itself had Shiro in raptures.

Then again, Matt wouldn’t mind him having raptures a little closer. He was used to Shiro being comfortable and in his bubble, and this sudden distance was making him antsy.

Glancing up at him, Matt softened at the sight of Shiro’s smile. It was so easy. Carefree, nearly. Shiro had never been this relaxed, even in the softest of moments between them. Loving, yes, and certainly not stressed, but the weight of their situation and their lives in general always gave him a steady air. Shiro was someone who had been through things and came out the other side.

And now he wasn’t.

Were the selfish, in wanting that version back?

Well, no, because Voltron came first. The universe came first. But Matt was just shy of willing to put his family ahead of the rest of the ‘verse, and Shiro counted.

“Wanna try one out yourself?” Matt found himself asking.

Eyes wide, Shiro started. “One of the training modules? I mean, I can. Allura said I should make sure I still know the arm. But I think she had something planned.”

Lips quirked up, Matt shook his head. “No, not one of those. A flying simulator. You helped me build it.”

Shiro’s eyes went bright. “We did?” It was an odd phrasing, Matt thought, but he didn’t bother to dwell on it. Instead he nodded. “Oh. Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Lemme pull up the single pilot version, then. It’ll even be good practice. The controls are the same as on the lions.”

Brow furrowed, Shiro nodded slowly. He straightened like his spine had steel in it, and Matt internally sighed. Take the memories out of him, and he still had that sense of duty. Well, when it mattered to him, anyway. “Yes. We should do that.”

It took some of the fun out of it. Matt could admit he wanted to show off a little. Shiro’s earnest enjoyment was nearly impossible to resist. But it was a good idea anyway, so he watched as Shiro headed downstairs and stepped into the training room proper, beginning the simulation.

And then he flew.

Even in a simulation, even without his memories, Shiro _flew_. He flew like he belonged there. 

Normally, Matt would just let the scenario play, the variables controlled by random number generators. But today he overrode that and took direct control. He gave Shiro beautiful cliffs to fly over, sparkling lakes in many colors he’d found in the Altean database, the sunset of two stars and the bright sparkle of thousands more at night, connected into new and strange constellations.

It wasn’t much of a challenge. But it didn’t need to be today.

When it finally ended, Shiro pulled off his helmet and beamed up at Matt. “That was beautiful,” he murmured, voice back to awed.

And because Matt couldn’t respond how he wanted to - that Shiro was the one beautiful, flushed and eager and so happy, but twisted into a joke, never direct. So instead he bit his lip around his smile. “We can do more later.”

That made Shiro look suddenly hopefully, and he nodded. Shy, nearly.

Well, they were nearly strangers, after all.

Oh. That tight chested feeling again. Dammit. Closing his eyes against the camera views, Matt let out a slow breath.

Part of him threatened to break. To tell Shiro, to apologize for not saying anything immediately, but I wanted to see how you adjusted, now can I kiss you?

But no. They were _strangers_ , and it wasn’t something Matt wanted to deal with. Didn’t want to have to cross that line while Shiro was like this.

Even when Shiro looked like he’d made the sun rise and set.

Damn it all.

***

Watching Shiro with the other Paladins was strange.

Katie was sticking close to Matt, which was nice, but also he felt like she might be putting off dealing for a little while. Which Matt could relate to. He was sitting on the other couch, a pad in his lap so he could pretend to read and act like he wasn’t just watching this new alternate version of his boyfriend play out.

“It was so cool,” Lance told Shiro, voice bright with enthusiasm. “You just up and _whah-pow_ ’d the guy, right in the face. And he went flying!”

Hunk leaned over the back of the couch, nodding. “You did. His feet left the ground, it was really impressive.”

Blushing, Shiro glanced between the two, looking somewhere between flattered and embarrassed. “Thanks?”

“Just telling it like it is,” Lance replied. And for all he’d had a ‘bad feeling’, Matt thought Lance was probably doing the best at handling it. Him or Hunk. Lance’s joking air worked well for keeping things light, even when addressing possibly heavy subjects like previous battles. And Hunk was just so _steady_. He wore his emotions on his sleeve and welcomed Shiro in warmly. Both had taken the lead in dealing with him.

Frankly, Matt suspected that they were both just better at hiding their negative feelings than the rest of them. But that might have been him being bitter.

“And that was when Keith swooped in. And he fought off one guy.” Lance’s expression went mischievous, and he leaned in closer to Shiro, voice dropping to a stage whisper. “But then he totally started getting his ass kicked, and I saved him. And he was like ‘oh, thank you, Lance, you’re the greatest hero of them all!’”

Shiro cracked up, apparently aware enough of Keith’s personality to recognize the ridiculousness of that. 

Of course, Keith picked that sentence to walk in.

“That’s now how it happened,” Keith replied, frowning deeply. And Matt honestly couldn’t tell if he was insulted at the slight, or if he was just bothered by the incorrect retelling.

Lance’s smirk grew. “Totally is. Back me up, Hunk.”

His own lips curled up, Hunk shrugged. “I wasn’t close. But it sounds right.”

Shiro started to laugh harder, bringing up his metal hand to cover his mouth and muffle it. Lance and Hunk shared a high-five, then turned to look at Keith, brows raised expectantly.

Sighing, Keith watched Shiro lose his shit for a moment longer. Then he rolled his eyes. “Oh, thank you, Lance, you’re the greatest hero of them all,” he repeated, and Matt was impressed at the amount of sarcasm he managed to shove into the phrase.

Lance crooned happily, throwing his hands up. “I want that in writing. No, I want that on a t-shirt. Attributed to Keith.”

Rolling his eyes, Keith continued to walk past them. He settled on the couch with Matt and Pidge and curled up. And it may have just been that sitting in the same area as the chaos over there would suck, but Matt suspected Keith was on Team Dealing Is Shitty And I Don’t Like It with him and his sister.

“You’re such a damsel,” Katie teased, done deadpan.

Keith snorted. “Yeah, it’s like I get kidnapped by Space Thieves and handcuffed to trees all the time.”

Interestingly, that Lance pause sheepishly.

“That sounds like a story,” Shiro remarked, brows up and lips curled into an easy smile. He was still relaxed and flushed from his earlier laughter, maybe slightly out of breath.

Okay, enough staring at that.

Hunk leaned forward further, with the air of someone who had amazing dirt on their best friend. “Oh, dude, yes. And preface: I’m always right. Always. That should be the first thing you remember, okay?”

Laughing again, Shiro nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

“Good. Okay, so, we were on our way to save a friend, when we got a distress signal...”

Hunk, at least, seemed to be retelling the story fairly faithfully, judging by the comments. “There’s no such thing as asshole robots,” Katie protested. “Just robots programmed to do asshole things.”

“What’s the difference?” Keith asked.

Chin raised, Katie’s eyes lit up. “I can save them.”

Oh, god.

But Shiro was watching Katie with admiration and something like pride, and it was such a _Shiro_ expression that Matt’s chest ached to see it.

And then his eyes slid over to Matt and he didn’t look any less pleased.

It was nice to see, but man, Matt didn’t want Shiro to look at him the same way he looked at his sister.

Beggars couldn’t be choosers, though.

***

The really odd thing about the situation, other than all of it, was that Matt had suddenly became almost popular. Members of the team would stick their head in to say hi and ask if he needed a hand. His Dad had checked up on him no less than three times, and Katie had barely left his side since the storytelling session in the rec room.

It wasn’t that Matt was usually ignored or anything. He just kept to himself a lot, for one. And he also wasn’t part of the core team. The universe didn’t depend on him having a super tight bond with several other people, and he missed out on everything that had made them click in the first place. He wasn’t unwelcome by any means, but he suspected he and his dad occupied a similar place to Allura and Coran. Part of the team but not part of the unit, except to certain people. Loved, but not someone you’re psychically linked to once a week.

So now Matt was exhausted by the sudden sociability. He didn’t want to turn anyone away, not when their intentions were so good, but he was already drained from dealing with the day itself. 

He could admit it had been fun, though. Especially having Hunk and Lance as visitors. They were apparently buddies in crappy romance movies and books consumption, and they’d theorized several ridiculous ways for Shiro to get his memory back, each worse and more contrived than the last. All while Hunk tried to pick up what Katie was working on, and getting snapped at louder each time.

Honestly, they should go on the road. Matt got that it was probably their way of coping, but that didn’t stop it from being hilarious.

But he’d finally figured out that he couldn’t be expected to be social when no one could find him. So Matt had gone on a walk, planning on wandering until most of the crew had gone to their rooms and he could relax in peace.

Voices made him freeze, but then he realized it was Keith and Shiro. Curious, Matt took a few quiet steps forward and realized it was coming from the training room. Inch by inch, he peeked through the open door.

“Okay, you’ve still got that down,” Keith murmured, almost to himself. They were both down to t-shirts and sweatpants, and Matt took a moment to admire the sight of Shiro with his arms bared, and not seeming to mind.

It was almost worth saying ‘damn the universe, it can stay’ for.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Shiro nodded. “Yeah, I got it. Honestly, what’s hardest is keeping my mind off what my body’s doing.” He shifted with his arms up and read as Keith started to circle him, clearly waiting for him to strike. “Thanks for doing this.”

“Of course,” Keith replied, more easily than Matt was used to hearing him. He knew they were close, and he knew Shiro cared for Keith deeply, but it was a bit odd to hear them one on one. Especially given the circumstances. “We’ve got to make sure you stay safe.”

Shiro smiled softly. Keith seemed to take that as an opening, and he went for the side. Blocking the first blow with his metal arm, Shiro dodged out of the way of the rest, then snapped out a kick that had Keith hoping backward to avoid. “Ah, that’s weird. I just... do stuff without remembering it. But I appreciate that, too. But that’s not what I meant. Honestly, I was starting to worry I had done something wrong before I lost my memories.”

Brow furrowed, Keith stared. “Why?”

“Well, sometimes it feels like I bother you. Matt and Pidge, too. Sometimes not, but other times it seems like you were trying to stay away. So I wondered. If I did, I’m sorry.” Shiro grabbed Keith’s wrist as he tried another punch, but was nearly yanked off balance when Keith tried to use that to grab him and throw him.

Once Shiro had recovered his balance, Keith sighed. “It’s not- you don’t remember us. It’s hard.”

Shiro frowned. “Oh. It’s that simple?” That made Keith snort. “I suppose I should have figured that one out.”

“Probably,” Keith responded, a hint of a laugh in his voice. “It’s getting late. We should pack it up. But, trust me. It’s definitely not that I’m mad. Or any of us. It’s just hard to deal with.”

Sighing, Shiro nodded. “Okay.” And Matt was just about to turn and leave before they spotted his spying when he spoke again. “About Matt.”

“What about him?” Keith asked, but his voice had lost the easiness.

Shiro hesitated. “We have a history, right? I mean... okay bad wording, I mean we were on that other ship for a long time. Are we close?”

For a long moment, Keith didn’t answer. Then he sighed. “Yeah, I’d say so. As far as I’ve heard, when you were separated before, you two were really good friends.”

“Oh,” Shiro replied, and he sounded a bit lost at that.

Matt’s stomach clenched, unsure how to take that.

But Keith certainly wasn’t one to press on emotional conversations, especially ones he didn’t sound happy about. So he didn’t ask Shiro to elaborate.

Chest tight again, Matt fled before they could see him and he’d have to deal.

***

 

A thump outside the door startled Matt awake. The stress of the day had him antsy, and it was making it hard to drift off for more than an hour at a time. He’d just been about to slip back into sleep, and now...

It wasn’t a knock, but there was definitely something going on outside his room. So Matt dragged himself up and, yawning widely enough to make his jaw crack, he opened the door. Just in time to catch Shiro’s back heading away from him. “Hey. Something up?”

Shiro jolted and spun, eyes wide and arms up defensively. After a moment he slumped, tucking back in on himself. “Oh. I woke you? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Flapping a hand, Matt yawned again. “I was up. What’s wrong?”

“Um.” Shiro looked away. “I just didn’t sleep well. So I went on a walk to calm down and... I ended up here, and I almost knocked before I thought about it. I wasn’t paying attention at all. I don’t know why.”

Shiro looked so desperately uncomfortable at that, quickly regaining the tension that haunted him normally. The ‘what have I done in the past?’ question, visibly weighing on his shoulders.

No, seriously, fuck the universe. Because none of them deserved to feel this way.

“You’ve slept here a bunch after bad dreams,” Matt offered, a careful answer if there ever was one. Usually Shiro had been there before, too. But nevermind that. “You wanna come in?”

Glancing up through his bangs, Shiro hesitated. “I don’t want to keep you up.”

“Too late for that. Might as well have company. C’mon.” And without waiting for more no-I-shouldn’ts, he ducked back into his room.

A moment later, Shiro followed. He hovered, a stranger in Matt’s space, until Matt patted the bed next to him and he finally sat down. “Thanks. I’ll really be fine.”

Rolling his eyes, Matt flopped back. “Dude, you’ve been here dozens of times. I know it’s weird, but seriously, relax.”

Finally, Shiro started to unwind, though he wasn’t nearly as comfortable as he should have been. After a moment of hesitation, he settled down as well. “I was just talking- um... well, I thought this would be too uncomfortable. You’ve been keeping your distance, a little. And I get it now.”

Sighing, Matt scrubbed hand over his face. “Yes, it’s difficult. But that doesn’t come before making you comfortable and getting you sleep. If it’s too much, I won’t invite you in, simple as that. Okay? Am I going to have to retrain you to accept my superior judgement, Shirogane? Because that took years.”

Shiro finally cracked a smile. “No, I’ll learn faster this time, I think. And all that will come back soon anyway.” His expression softened and he glanced over Matt’s face, back to that not-quite-awed look. “Thank you.”

Cute wasn’t a word Matt often applied to Shiro. Sexy as hell and handsome, sure. But Shiro didn’t usually have the cuteness or innocence - or size - Matt associated with ‘cute’.

But damn if he wasn’t right now.

“You wanna talk about it?” Matt asked, just to move the conversation along before he got the temptation to, like, kiss Shiro’s nose or something.

To his confusion, Shiro went pink. “Talk about it?” He managed, voice strained.

Matt paused, brow furrowed. “Your nightmare?”

Relaxing, Shiro let out a breath. “Oh. _Oh._. Uh, sure.” Then something seemed to occur to him. “It wasn’t any of my memories. If that was what you were thinking. I don’t want to get your hopes up on that.”

“Nah, it’s early yet. I’d be surprised. And your nightmares aren’t the way I’d want to you to get introduced to them.” Matt shrugged, settling once Shiro stopped having such strange reactions. “So spill. What’s up?”

Shiro sighed. “Just drove it home that I’m useless. I dreamt that the castle was being attacked and everyone died because I couldn’t help the way I was supposed to.”

Oh. Well, you could take his memories, but Shiro was still Shiro.

Matt reached out and just managed to keep from cupping Shiro’s cheek at the last moment. Instead he clapped down where neck met shoulder. “Even if worse comes to worse - and it shouldn’t, because I checked and this gas giant fucks up any scanning in a nasty way. But even if it did, it wouldn’t be your fault.”

“Of course it would,” Shiro murmured back. “I made the call to play with my memories. Allura told me that.”

“And? So? But? Therefore?” Matt made a rolling gesture. “So you tried something out. You wanted to remember. And even if I didn’t agree with your method, the Galra attacking is all on the Galra and Zarkon. The fault of killing someone is on no one but the killer.” He arched his brows at Shiro. “On your logic, it’s down to Coran, Allura and me for building a machine that fucked up your brain instead of what it was supposed to do.”

Shiro stared at him, shaking his head slowly. “But I’m the one who asked you to.”

“We could have said no,” Matt relied. “You didn’t hold a gun to our heads. We could have said ‘we’re not comfortable with this technology yet, wait a bit. And now you’re the one messed up.”

That made Shiro pause. “I don’t feel messed up,” he admitted. “I feel like you guys messed yourselves up more than me, by that logic. Which is stupid logic, by the way.”

Matt’s lips curled up. “Then you’re self-blaming crap is stupid too.”

Letting out a choked bark of a laugh, Shiro managed a smile. “Yeah, alright, fair enough. Caught me in a logic loop.” He closed his eyes, but his lips were still curved up. “Still, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t work for it, right? I know Allura is nervous to let me in the lions.”

Humming, Matt nodded, his own eyes falling closed. “Yeah. Who knows what it’ll do to your head right now.”

Shiro let out a noncommittal noise. After a while of no response, Matt cracked an eye open. Shiro was watching him, expression soft and warm. When he noticed Matt was looking back, he colored again. “Sorry, lost in thought. I didn’t mean to stare.”

Yawning, Matt shrugged a shoulder. “S’fine. You gunna crash here?”

“Yeah, at least for a bit,” Shiro responded quietly. “Not sure I’ll stay the whole time.”

“You’re not a prisoner, whatever you want,” Matt replied, words slurring as he settled in.

If there was a response, Matt didn’t hear it.

And in the morning, Shiro was gone, and the bed was cold next to him.

***

When Matt wandered blearily into the kitchen, he was the second to last to arrive. Because Shiro wasn’t there either. Yawning, he sat down heavily and blearily poured himself a cup of what served as coffee on board.

There was a beat of silence, which Matt barely noticed in his haze, before Katie spoke. “Morning. Was Shiro with you?”

“No,” Matt murmured. “I mean, a little last night, but he was gone when I woke up.” He blinked slowly at them. “Why?”

Keith frowned. “I went to get him in the morning. No one told him what time breakfast was.” Oh. Heh. Whoops. That had completely slipped Matt’s mind. “But he wasn’t in his room. So I thought..”

Matt’s eyes closed as he took a long sip. “You mighta just missed him. He was in my room for a bit, ‘cause apparently he had a weird dream and muscle-memory walked over. Had to have left a while ago, though.”

Hunk glanced at Keith. “Should we page his room again? I’m not sure he should be wandering around without his memories.”

Waving his spoon around, Lance shrugged. “He’ll be fine. Even without them, Shiro doesn’t strike me as a ‘push the big red button and blow up the ship’ type, and the castle’s pretty safe. He’s memoryless, not senseless.”

“No, that’s you,” Katie murmured, then took another sip of her drink. “Okay, no, you’re right. Sorry, came out before I could stop it. Too early.”

Lance pouted anyway. “Rude. We need an adult while Shiro’s down. Someone be the adult.”

“I’m an adult,” Matt offered dryly, just to see the dubious looks. “Allura, Coran and Dad are adults,” he corrected.

“No,” Allura replied blandly. “I refuse.”

“I raised Matt and Katie. I’m retired now,” Dad replied cheerfully. “I’ve paid my dues.” He smiled at the combined scowls that earned him. 

Matt pointed at him with a fork. “We were delights, how dare you.”

“You set the attic on fire.”

That made Katie grin. “For science. We proved the fabric wasn’t actually flame-resistant. Aren’t you glad you didn’t learn that in an actual house fire?”

Dad closed his eyes and shook his head. “Retired.”

“I’ll be the adult,” Coran offered magnanimously. “We’ll do an official adoption ceremony at the turn of the Haxle Eclipse, as it traditional.”

Matt eyed him for a moment, then leaned in close to his father. “Did he make that up just now, or is it real?”

Brows up, Dad snorted. “Attic. You’re on your own.”

“You know what, I think we’re good waiting for Shiro,” Keith replied flatly. “Thanks for the offer.”

Coran puffed himself up in hopefully mock-offense when Allura’s earrings flashed. She stilled, then grabbed Coran’s arm. “The black lion is active.”

The room went silent. 

It only took a look around to figure out what had happened.

“That fucking _idiot_ ,” Matt snarled, shoving himself away from the table and running out at a sprint.

Once upon a time, Matt was pretty certain he could have beat everyone to the docking bay without much problem. But he was more than a year out of practice for good running, and so Keith caught up with him after a minute. “But why would he do that?”

Damn him for being able to talk while running. The hell was Keith, anyway? “He was feeling guilty for being down,” Matt managed, huffing. “And we talked about the lion messing with his mind, so two guesses what he must have come up with.”

He nearly skidded into the black lion’s hangar. It was crouched down, almost curled in on itself, and the lights were on. But it was dead still otherwise.

Shit. Matt had gotten this far and he had no idea what to do. “Shiro!” He called, because... well, if the lights were on, maybe the cameras were to. “Get your ass down here or _so help me_.”

The rest were piling in - except for Dad, damn, he hadn’t thought about his leg - Hunk turned to Allura. “Can you do something?”

“Override a lion?” Allura frowned. “Not against a direct command. It depends on what he’s doing. Or if he’s conscious.”

That was really comforting.

But she moved to one of the control panels, the screen lighting up under her fingers, and Matt trusted that she was going to do her damndest.

“So, what’s plan B,” Lance asked. “Can we, like, rip it open if we need to?”

Katie gave him a bland look. “Those lions take crash lands on planets and blasts without scratching. I’m not sure what we could do to them.”

“Well, has this never happened before?” Hunk gestured toward the lion. “Where the paladin couldn’t get out?”

Coran hummed. “Not when they didn’t want to come out on their own and could be hurt. Only healthy or too injured. If he’s in danger, the black lion should automatically spit him out.”

Nose crinkling at the wording, because ew, Matt glanced back. “Even when it’s a mental wound?”

“If anything, shouldn’t that be easier?” Keith pointed out. “It’s a mental connection.”

Lance’s lips pursed. “That’s not really a plan, though.”

With a shrug, Corn stared at the lion. “I’m not sure there’s a plan to be had, other than to wait it out.”

Allura let out a noise of surprise, and they all whirled to look at her. On her screen, a window popped up with Shiro’s face. He was awake, if moving a bit sluggishly. “Sorry, I hear you now.”

Hands on her hips, Allura leaned in so her face was nearly against the camera. “What are you doing? I told you to stay out!”

Shiro leaned back, as though she was in his face instead of in the camera. “Yes, well. You did. But I thought that if the problem was that my memories were essentially stored in a way the castle is supposed to recognize, the lions would be able to read them the same way. So I figured I’d give it a go.”

Letting out a soft, painted noise, Coran scrubbed over his face. “Sweet Quiznak.”

Yeah, Matt understood that. Because he only had the barest understanding of how all this worked, and Shiro was had taken such a unknowingly _stupid_ risk that he kind of wanted to throw up.

“It worked!” Shiro defended. “I remember. Not what I was trying to, but everything else. I’m coming out.” The lion straightened and opened it’s mouth, and Shiro walked out a moment later. He wasn’t wearing any of his armor, still in the pajamas he’d come to Matt’s room in. “Sorry about that. We can get going again.”

Chaos burst out.

***

Shiro was thoroughly reamed out for disobeying a direct order (which he’d taken with the same bland smiles and nods he’d used to give in the Garrison, that Matt knew meant he’d do it again in a heartbeat, if given half a chance). After, Matt and Coran corralled him for a through check-up while Dad helped Allura run the training they’d come up with for the afternoon, since no use wasting it. And it was a diplomacy exercise anyway, which meant Matt was happy to avoid the inevitable fallout.

“Everything seems to be fine, miraculous as it is,” Coran muttered. He wasn’t exactly gentle as he unhooked Shiro from the scanners. “Please let me know if you plan on doing anything else that could melt your squishy Earth brains out your ears in the near future.”

Shiro smiled, seemingly unbothered with the attitude. “I’ll do my best.”

With a last huff, Coran clapped him on the back. It was a ‘you’re forgiven you stupid, fragile human’ gesture, without a doubt. “I suppose I’ll leave you two alone then.” With a quick twirl of his mustache - okay, Dad had definitely taught him that - he slipped out.

Watching him go, Shiro shook his head. Then he smiled at Matt. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Matt replied. He moved closer, then pulled Shiro in for a long kiss. “You dope.”

Shiro snorted. “It worked, therefore I am validated.”

Glaring at him over the top of his glasses, Matt frowned. “Only I can pull that off. Try again.”

Shiro just watched him, expression warm. “Actually, I have a question. Why didn’t you tell me we were dating?”

“I...” Matt paused, because saying it to Shiro was... well, it was kind of embarrassing. “We do a lot of work, to make sure we never do things we regret later. I didn’t want you to do something you would regret later because you didn’t know. We’re a safe thing. I want it to stay that way. Plus, it’s no fun dating someone who doesn’t get any of my jokes. I had to wait.”

Reaching up, Shiro cupped Matt’s cheek. “Thanks. I do appreciate that, even if I don’t think it would have been a problem.” He leaned in for another kiss, then huffed. “I don’t get your jokes anyway.”

“You get some of them,” Matt replied. “Like, thirty percent? It’s enough, you’re in the threshold.”

Shiro laughed. “Good enough, huh?” He kissed Matt’s forehead. “I’m surprised you didn't take advantage anyway, with the way I was trailing after you like that.”

“Like what?” Matt asked. When Shiro paused, going pink again, it suddenly clicked.

The blushes, the staring, the adoring looks.

It was so different from the way Shiro usually worked with him - loving, indulgent, calm - that he hadn’t even recognized it. But without his memories, Shiro had a _crush_ on him.

“Oh my god,’ Matt murmured, beaming. “This is the best thing ever.”

Shiro rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were still stained. “We’re dating, of course I find you attractive. And if you’d just told me it wouldn’t have been an issue. I thought I was just pining for you.”

Okay, yesterday had sucked majorly, but today was the best day. “You were pinning for me?” Matt gripped at Shiro’s shirt. “I don’t even know what to do with this information, this is amazing.”

“It’s not-” Shiro cut himself off with a sigh. “Dammit.”

Matt laughed at patted his chest. “At least you were cute about it. Better than I would have been. Woulda tried to climb you like a tree. You wanted me for my personality, and I’m just shallow.”

That at least got Shiro to crack a smile. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you had a crush on me.”

Rather than keep up the banter, Shiro just gave him a gentle smile. “Yeah. I did. And I’m sorry, by the way. It couldn’t have been easy.”

Matt slumped slightly, sobering. “I mean, no. It sucked. But it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I knew it was temporary. Anything else was unthinkable. And you were still there and you were still you. Just without the baggage.”

“I like the baggage,” Shiro replied. “Not all of it, of course. But the rest of it is worth it to be here and do good. And to have this.” He searched Matt’s face. “You’re sure you’re okay? I mean this in the nicest way but... are you sure?”

Matt took a deep breath, remembering how he hadn’t even thought about the emotional pain until hours later. How sometimes his emotions seemed to be at a distance. So he sighed and leaned in. “Maybe. We’ll see.”

Pulling him in, Shiro hugged Matt to him. “We’ll see.”

And maybe the answer was no. Maybe it’d hit soon and he’d be a mess, because Shiro had left him again.

But they’d deal with that if and when it came.

For now, this was fine. This was good, even. Because whenever Shiro left him, he always came back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of MattShiro Week! Hope you all enjoyed : )


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